How Much Does Self-Confidence Affect Your Sex Life?

Self-confidence. For many men, it’s a fleeting feeling that you get after doing something awesome like getting a promotion or hooking up with a long-time crush. Building true self-confidence, though, means that you feel reasonably good about yourself most of the time. You can have an off day, but you know your worth and you live life on your own terms.

Another great feature of self-confidence is that it can lead to a better sex life. There are plenty of reasons why. If you don’t feel that confident in yourself, you can take steps to make your life better.

Women Find Confident Men More Attractive


It’s no surprise that most women find confident men more attractive than insecure men. There are even evolutionary reasons for women to feel this way. Jordan Harbinger’s relationship coaching blog, The Art of Charm, points out that confident men were probably better providers in the distant past. To use the Art of Charm’s example, a confident man is more likely to hunt down a mastodon than a man who’s scared of his own shadow.

By seeming more self-confident, you will attract more women. Whether you’re playing the field or looking for a relationship, becoming more attractive to women means that you will have more sex.

Your Confidence Affects How Your Partner Feels

Confidence is contagious. If you have a lot of self-confidence, then your partner will feel more confident, too.

When two confident people have a relationship with each other, you can expect plenty of fun in the bedroom. Hell, you can also expect more fun in the kitchen, living room and restaurant restrooms.Lippman_BSG_DayTwo_21a7432.jpg

When you feel good about yourself, you help your relationship flourish.

Good Self-Esteem Equals Good Sexual Confidence

A lot of people confuse sexual confidence with self-esteem. Sexual empowerment coach Amy Jo Goddard points out that it doesn’t work that way. Sexual confidence doesn’t lead to long-term, healthy self-esteem. Good self-esteem, however, can lead to more confidence between the sheets.

It’s a one-way road. If you build your self-worth on how good you are at sex or how many people you sleep with, then you’re just one bad relationship away from insecurity.

The amount of sex that you have probably matters a lot less than you think, too. Despite the rise of “swipe right” culture, people don’t have as much sex today as they did in the ‘80s and ‘90s. If you’re getting laid once a week, then you’re doing better than most people. Regardless, you shouldn’t let what other people do affect your confidence. Doing so will put you on the fast track to feeling inadequate, which is one of the least sexy qualities a person can have.

Boost Your Self-Esteem to Enjoy a Better Sex Life

It’s established. The more confidence you have, the more sex you’ll enjoy. What are you supposed to do with that knowledge, though, if you don’t feel good about yourself?

You have plenty of options, and most of them will work wonders for you as long as you get out of the house and try to improve your life.

Some ways to boost your self-confidence so you can improve your sex life include:

  • Losing some belly weight so you look better.
  • Overcoming a fear that has restricted your activities.
  • Practicing mindfulness to recognize negative thoughts.
  • Buying a new outfit that emphasizes your good traits.
  • Volunteering for a cause that you believe in.

Of course, it never hurts to make some changes to your appearance. AT BSG, you can get a signature haircut that brings out your best facial features. On the same day, you can schedule a session of laser body contouring and fat removal.

Even small changes can improve your self-esteem and, in turn, your sex life.